““Everybody’s drinking lover’s spit”…Let it remind you how much everyone else is being loved. ”

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By two.one.five Staff  |  Send to Friend

9 Songs: Wherein we connive nine tunes to get you and your partner(s) in the mood -- or very much out of it.

 

9 Songs for Post-Unrequited Lovemaking

It’s happened to us all. You met that special someone at the bar, you hit it off so well, they like the same movies and music, and the way the seam of their jeans sits every so snugly in the crack of their ass just makes the animal in you need to have sex tonight. You rearrange the mess in your apartment, light the candles or the incense, before you know it they hit and split, crushing that hopeless romantic in you who was so sure they’d want to sit in Rittenhouse Square with you so all your old friends could coo about your new boo. Guess what slut, it ain’t happenin’. They’ve loved you and left you, just when you thought by giving it up or giving it to ‘em that they’d stay. Listen to these songs the morning after to mourn.

1. How Soon Is Now? - The Smiths
 Morrissey really said it “oh you go, and you stand on your own and you leave on your own and you go home, and you cry and you want to die”


2. Tired of Sex - Weezer
Oh, why can’t I be making love?


3. Lover’s Spit - Broken Social Scene
“Everybody’s drinking lover’s spit”…Let it remind you how much everyone else is being loved.


4. Straight to Hell -  The Clash
When you’re ready put the hanky down and go ahead, tell them how you feel.


5. The Recluse- Cursive
Ultimate emotional catharsis song. It’s dripping with desperation, just like the sex you had last night.


6. Die, Die, Die - Dr. Dog
“I don’t wanna die in your arms…I just wanna die”

7. Gone Daddy Gone - The Violent Femmes
 No real explanation needed here.


8. I Was a Lover - TV on the Radio
Perfect for the lover who you see around town after being played like a fiddle. There there, this’ll make you feel all better.

9. I Felt Your Shape - The Microphones
“It was dumb to hold so tight”

Sexuations: Wherein we identify hot new sexual possibilities.

 1.  The Trumpeter

The night's musician blows a trumpet into their partner's crotch, sending melodic vibrations of love throughout the organs. Can be performed by either partner.
After Perloff's concert, he found a more receptive audience for his trumpeting in Angelique's crotch.

 

 

2. The Salty Salad

Rather than just "tossing the salad", the partner does a shot of tequila, followed by a ring of salt around the pink circle of his partner's anus, chased by a splash of sexual fluids.

Paul had enjoyed the Salty Salad, but Gill cried for fifteen minutes after realizing how badly salt and tequila burned the sphincter.